Daughters & Self Image

we-go.jpgThis is me and my daughter on our way to Thanksgiving dinner with my family. It’s amazing that I can actually see the resemblance in this picture. Anyway, on to what this post is really about.

I’ve been thinking lately, after some conversations with my daughter, about how to promote a healthy self image. Especially if you, yourself, do not have a very healthy self image. I know that my worth does not lie in whether or not I am skinny, but I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I was skinny for years, up until I got pregnant with my daughter. I put on 63 pounds during that pregnancy and never lost it all. I gained about 20 pounds when I went back to college and then became pregnant with my son. Luckily, for me, I only gained 25 pounds with him. But, I haven’t lost that weight (because I am not doing anything to) and that puts me back at the weight I was after having my daughter. This is really not what I was planning on writing this post about, but atleast it will give you some insight into why I have a not so healthy self image.

My daughter told me the other morning, as we were getting her ready for school, that she had seen a commercial on tv about a “chair they have for women who have had babies. This chair will help get rid of the fat. But, I’m not calling you fat Mommy. I’m just saying, you see that extra skin there!” Ha! I laughed and said yes I do. It did not hurt my feelings in the least and she loves me with all my “extra skin” anyway.  But, they are so easily influenced and I need to keep a careful eye on what she is watching on tv.

So, several months ago, my husband purchased a cheerleading outfit for my daughter – GO IRISH!!! It has a slight V-neck and she immediately wanted to try it on. She tried it on over her clothes and we told her to take the clothes off so we could see what it looked like. She did, but she kept her hands over her chest and whispered in my ear, “Mommy, I feel unconcious.” Now we got a laugh out of that ’cause she meant she felt self-conscious and it was so cute, but it got me thinking. Do I say that, well duh, ofcourse I do. I must say it more than I realized and she has picked up on it. But, it was really good in that she wants to keep her body covered up and not show all her glory. But, I just don’t want her to have self image issues (although I do feel it is inevitable). I tell her that her beauty does not come from her long blonde hair, big blue eyes, dimple in her cheek, freckles on her face, etc.; but that it comes from within and through how she treats others and from living for God. She is only 5 years old, but it’s never too early to promote a healthy self image – mind, body & soul!

How do you all promote a healthy self image? Do you have any advice you could share? Do you struggle with the same body issues? Please do tell. This subject is very near and dear to my heart! Thanks for reading & love to all!



8 Responses

  1. Boy, I sure do wish I had words of wisdom on this one. I’ll be excitied to hear advice from your readers for I, too, have always been very unconcious. And with two little girls, I definately need to know how to fight those battles!

    p.s. – You’ve been tagged. Stop by and see why!

  2. And I can’t believe that you used the word “skinny.” You’ve always hated that word, especially when it was used in reference to you. “Don’t call me skinny, it makes me sound sick!”

  3. Oh boy. I just drafted a post about this for tomorrow, about how I really hate the way I look right now. I feel unhealthy but the bottom line is that I see fat and ugly in the mirror. I don’t want that to be my daughter’s fate.

    I’ll be checking back to see if anyone has any wisdom on this one.

  4. You read my post that was sort of about these issues. For my own sake and self-image it was changing my shopping habits. But I did also struggle with curbing the urge to TALK about how I feel when I look in the mirror. So I don’t. Talk about it in front of her. Or I try really hard not to talk about I how I feel about my muffin-top, etc.

    Also, I sheltered her and Ted from TV with commercials and shows about princesses for a long time. That’s over, unfortunately, and now she talks about being “pretty” and wanting to be pretty. I know that there is little I can do to shelter her from that inevitable comparison of herself to the ideals presented in the media.

  5. And what I should have written first was that you’re beautiful. This, and the post above it, were the first photographs I’ve seen of you.

  6. Karen – thank you, thank you very much!
    Mrs. Chicken – can’t wait to read yours!
    T&T – yeah, i know…but i can look back now and see that i was *skinny*

  7. Hello. Your site is very good.I like what i can find your site.I say to all my friends about your site.Very interesting and informative site.Thanks!

  8. Very interesting site, read it all 🙂

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